It's True! The Iraq War Is Over

This is a parody.

At 10:00 am CDT, it was announced that the Iraq War is over. Yeah! Finally, peace at last. So I had a friend beam over to Iraq to investigate. (War definition: organized conflict between States). So, did we (U.S.) win? No one seems to know. The press release simply reads "They have surrendered". Therefore, in order to answer the question of "Who exactly are THEY?" I set off on a journey to find out who THEY are and WHERE is the surrender to be signed. Seems to be a reluctance in discussing concessions. My first stop was in Baghdad, one would think this would be the place for such an event to occur. I set up a meeting with the Shia Arab leaders and no one showed. Odd, but not to worry, I made an appointment with some real nice soldiers from the Green Zone, again no one showed. They didn't even seem to know there had been a surrender, therefore it must be taking place elsewhere. I beamed myself to Karbala to meet with the Shia Arab leaders, again no show. This is getting frustrating. But I did meet a nice stray dog, adopted her, and she will continue the journey with me. By the way, her name is "Wilma Mary Diane" (WMD). So, WMD and myself beam to Kirkuk, I waited to make an appointment this time, I'll just find them when I arrive. (smart thinking eh?) We began our search in Kirkuk for Sunni Arab, and Sunni Kurd Big Shots. The locals shrug when I ask where the meeting of the "Big Shots" is to take place. I really searched far and wide to find a Presidential Palace or even an Embassy, all to no avail. Time to beam again. How about Basra? Not a good idea, we just got ran out of town by a bunch of angry Shia Arab all speaking a language I don't understand. Let's get the heck out of here WMD. Beamed by mistake to Al Anbar. Not good, IEDs, mortars, machine gun fire. Nothing but chaos all around us. I tried to tell everyone that the war was over, we almost got hit by a humvee. I called the Embassy in Baghdad, and got a answering machine. Something about "I am sorry we could not answer your call, but we have gone to Jordan on vacation". At last, confirmation that the war is indeed over. WMD and myself need a nap. We decided to beam to Tikrit. We found a lone tree and took a short nap, before restarting our journey. Upon awakening, WMD decided to surrender to the facts that we haven't found who THEY are, nor have we been able to establish where the Peace Treaty is to be signed. WMD finally came to the conclusion that this isn't a war between States, no one actually knows who is fighting whom, why they are fighting, and absolutely "NOWHERE" could be found to sign a surrender. Therefore the War can't be over. And may NEVER be over. Are You Kidding Me?